My First Ever Blog. Wow.

I’ve been thinking about writing a blog since blogs first started to become popular. When I first heard of them, I figured I’d start one before too long. But I didn’t. Honestly, it has made me nervous. Blogging makes you vulnerable – at least for me it seems to. If I am going to share at all, you are going to see at least parts of the real me. I need to be okay with putting myself out there. I need to be okay with taking risks again. So I’m starting a blog J Thank you to Amy Wollmer Miraflor, SoShawna Foster Gray, and Cheyenne Johnson for inspiring me to do some writing of my own (btw: I read all three of your blogs faithfully – great stuff!)

The question is where to start?!?! Hmm, okay something really random…

We live in a small apartment complex where there are only 6 or so units. Soon after moving in, we briefly met some nice young men who live in one of the units. They were friendly but not too friendly, quiet, and easy-going (perfect neighbors, right?) Before long, we noticed a pretty much ever-present marijuana smell lingering outside around their apartment, then understanding the reason behind them being so chill. This didn’t phase me a bit (always pleasant, never aggressive!) Anyway, around the time I was six months prego, I started noticing this NASTY, stale, rotten, skunk-ish smell around our kitchen and near our hall closets. I thought there was something decomposing in my kitchen, but I couldn’t find anything!! It was driving me batty, but it wasn’t until my smart lil’ bro came and visited that I found out what the smell actually was. He went right to one of our vents and told me, um, sis…your neighbors aren’t just smoking weed. They’re growing it, and the smell is seeping in through the vents! So ever since then the smell has seemed to get worse, and I’m worried about this having some kind of adverse affect on my baby’s lungs. Is that possible??? It’s not smoke coming through the vents; it’s the smell of the marijuana growing. Anyone have an inside scoop on something like this?

Okay totally changing gears…

Today we had Sydney’s baby dedication at church. It was really beautiful. Of course our pastor said touching things, and we were excited to have Steve’s parents there to celebrate with us, and our friends and acquaintances were so sweet in their congratulations and words of encouragement. But the best thing about today was this: I realized that, through my amazing little Baby Girl, God is granting me more courage than I have ever had. Courage to love. Courage to speak up. Courage to serve. Courage to just be me. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined these little “side” gifts that God gives you when He gives you a child. Wow. I am so not worthy, and I am okay with that, because this is all a GIFT.