Pressure

Driving back from having lunch with my friend Rose this afternoon, Sydney seemed to all of a sudden forget how to keep the binky in her mouth. She starts to fuss every time it falls out, so I’m driving with one hand and reaching my other arm as far as it can possibly stretch in order to keep it in her mouth. Then we get stuck in traffic and aren’t going over 20 MPH. My baby only likes being in the car if we are going over 45 MPH or so (yes, she is that particular about things.) So…this aggravates her even more. By this time, we have an all-out scream going on, and I start to get REALLY stressed. I feel so much pressure to calm this baby down that I literally start to SWEAT.

Caring for an infant is a whole lot of pressure...I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it’s true. It’s a whole lot of pressure for me, anyway. In thinking about this, I started reflecting on how much pressure I put on myself, and how much I demand of myself in general. Since childhood, I’ve been a diehard people-pleaser. In fact, I can honestly say that I received very few spankings and little scolding from my parents because I was terrified of displeasing them. As an adult, this tendency has carried over to my friendships and to my marriage. There have been times, friends, where I have held back my true feelings about things in order to avoid making you unhappy. I have worn myself out cleaning the house to perfection, running all of the errands, and making sure that there is dinner on the table in order to please my husband – only to realize that it really doesn’t matter that much to him. All he wants is to spend time with me.

I’ve been asking myself lately, “where on earth does all of this pressure come from?!” Sure, there are experiences I have had that have helped lead me toward these tendencies. For most of my spiritual life, I have had a very legalistic perspective when it comes to the love of God, salvation, etc. True Grace is a relatively new (and very exciting!) concept for me. This is a whole blog in itself (or ten blogs). Ultimately, though, the pressure comes from me and me only. I can choose to succumb to it, or I can choose to align my priorities according to what I know in my sane mind and heart to be true. I can make the conscience decision to let go. We can all make the conscience decision to let go of the unnecessary pressures that take up so much space in our lives. Life’s too short and God’s too good.

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 2Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” – Matthew 11: 28-30